Het veel te slechte moppen topic

[Jeti]

Met dank aan Max

[the_destroyers]

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

[Jeti]

Voor de scholieren en studenten onder ons:

Ik heb echt geen tijd om te leren. Een jaar heeft 365 dagen om te leren. Trek daar 52 zondagen vanaf, dan zijn er nog 313 dagen. Tijdens het jaar zijn er 50 dagen waarop het te warm of te koud is om te kunnen studeren. Dus zijn er nog 263 dagen. We slapen 8 uren per dag, dat zijn 122 dagen per jaar. Dus hebben we nog 141 dagen. Als we 1 uur per dag mogen doen waar we zin in hebben, , zijn dat nog eens 15 dagen per jaar minder en blijven er dus nog 126 over. Per dag verspillen we 2 uur tijd aan eten en drinken, dat zijn 30 dagen per jaar dus blijven er nog 96 dagen over. We besteden per dag 1 uur tijd aan praten met vrienden en familie, dat zijn 15 dagen totaal, dus resten er nog 81. Overig schoolwerk neemt 35 dagen van ons dus blijven er nog 46 dagen over. Trek daar nog eens 40 dagen vakantie vanaf, dan blijven er nog 6 dagen over. Je bent minstens 3 dagen ziek, dus heb je slechts 3 dagen over om te studeren. Als je dan nog 2 dagen per jaar weggaat, blijft er slechts 1 DAG over, en deze dag is je verjaardag.

[Jens36]

Zo zit dat dus echt hé

[bajaboy]

of ze zijn gewoon te lui om te werken ,

waarom niet werken op:
zondagen
te warm of te koud (doe je iets aan of uit)
eten en leren gaat prima samen
en zo kan ik wel door gaan.
uit eindelijk zijn het dus gewoon luiwammesen WERKEN / LEREN krengen luie honden !!!

[Jeti]

Waarom raken mannen zo opgewonden van vrouwen in leren kleding?

[spoil]Ze ruiken naar een nieuwe auto.[/spoil]

[the_destroyers]

:lol:

Hahaha lol

[the_destroyers]

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of... ...his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.
...
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.

[Niels]

[rise and shine]

A tough looking group of Fizzy bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So she does... And it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had.
That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl....."

[rise and shine]

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife and asked, "Is this your wife, sir?”


Shocked, I answered, "Yes it is."

They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus.”

I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality and she's good with the kids.

[YamaSam]

zet ze maar hier, want ik kan het grappigefototopic nietmeer vinden?

[the_destroyers]

http://www.fs1forum.com/viewtopic.php?t=6085&start=630

:lol:

[YamaSam]

ahah, merci!

[the_destroyers]

ahah, merci!

Geen probleem!